Conditional Love

Unconditional love : The deep-rooted hype in the town of fiction. Thanks to Bollywood for teaching us since childhood that love is always unconditional. Anything that comes with conditions applied cannot be termed as love.

  

How about bursting this bubble that fiction has created?

Love begins with affection, along with it begins acceptance.

Let us start with a simple question.

 

Can we accept anything or everything without any filters or conditions? A normal human CAN'T!

Can we accept a person who doesn't respect and like us?

The answer is No! 

Then how can we love such a person?

That is base of Conditional Love.

 

Once I met an adorable girl. She loved dogs, especially pugs. She had two pet dogs at her home. One was a pug and another was an adopted indie recovering from an injury.

I noticed that Cookie- the pug was affectionate to her but same was not the case with Mickey.

So, I asked her that do you love both of them the same?

"Of course, Cookie loves me a lot and poor soul Mickey was in such a bad condition when I first saw him. I still feel pity for him, he is recovering though" she replied with a smile.

Cookie loved her because she took his care and fed him. 

These became the set of conditions for the love between them.

Another point here to understand is we at times misinterpret sympathy with unconditional love.

Our sympathy towards a person will fade as the situation gets better for him.

No one in this world can love us unconditionally and vice-versa. A person can only love himself without any conditions. Even most of the parents love their child unconditionally as the child is part of them.

Our quest for love starts with so many conditions applied. And that is actually a good thing to do for a rational individual.

The heart is like an engine. The thoughts, dreams and aspiration give energy to drive the system. Whereas Mind is like the accelerator, brake or handle of an automobile vehicle. It has the control of when to use the energy, in which direction to use it and when to put a stop.

Love is a feeling connected with the heart. Its power is boundless like the power of the engine.

If that is allowed to flow in an uncontrolled fashion it is going to damage and destroy itself. 

Unconditional love is something that can be achieved but impossible to survive with it. Because for everything, "Conditions apply" is needed!!

We follow the system of conditional love subconsciously. Our conscious mind does not accept it due to the fiction it has been fed with over years.

 

The irony is “I want someone who loves me unconditionally” is also a condition stated.   

Happy Reading!

Woh 4 log

Hello, dear readers!

Thank you! for your overwhelming response to ‘Sharmaji ka ladka’. So, now  FlipSide presents you the side of 'four individuals' whose opinions or fear of what the opinions would be, create a turmoil in every household. (Chaar log kya kahenge!!??)

 We are the 'chaar log'

No,not these ones.

But yes, the music that has hit your mind is right even in our case :0

We know how much you fear our judgement but we don't understand why you do so!

Yes, we do discuss about your job, your family, your friends; in a nutshell, your life. We love gossiping. We have talks about your life but we are not concerned about it. To be honest we have nothing to do with your life and your decisions. 

As one needs masala in tea to make it more delicious, we need gossips to spice up our talks.

We have a perfect recipe of judging you along with a garnishing of hypocrisy. The opinions that we have, are very polar, it is either this or that, either it is black or it is white. It can't be grey! Have you heard about the art of generalization? We have mastered it.

We have a list of predictions made about you. When you take a decision, we gamble on our predictions about the ‘way’ you might fail. Whenever, one thinks to do something out of the box; we presume he/she will fail. This mostly happens because we have never witnessed such divergent stuff before.

And of course, we aren't acquainted about you. But you and your family are acquainted. Hence, don't fall prey to words spoken by us. Read your subconscious mind, not our discussion forum.

The hilarious part is that if you succeed, we will gamble on our theories that how we already knew that this shall happen. If you fail, we knew it. If you succeed, we knew it.

 

       

(Aree humme toh pehle se pata tha..!)

The discomposure caused by our thoughts in your life is immense. Our thoughts hamper so many lives in some or the other sense. From deciding life partner to deciding the wedding food menu, people are anxious about our thoughts. 

               

(Sweet mei gulab jamun nahi diye toh chaar log kya kahenge...;( )

We don't keep chanting about your life. Also, we have people other than you to discuss about:)) Don't you think there needs to be a variety of spices to spice up our gossip? 

Never ruin a decision which will make a difference in the upcoming decades of your life, fearing or considering our few minutes talk. 

The fact is we talk, we discuss and then we leave it! You are the topic of our discussion for just a trivial amount of time. After that we get back to living our life.

(Khair, humme kya karna hai…)

We are present in the society, this fact cannot be denied. All you can do is, try not to give much importance to what we think about you, think about yourself and your beloved ones. We genuinely don’t care about you as much as you care about our opinion.

We are char log,

Don't be like us :)

So,now next time anyone says ‘Chaar log kya kahenge?’; You have the answer. :)

Sharmaji ka ladka

Hello readers!

I'm Sharmaji's son. Yes! you guessed it right, the hyped hypothetical figure which every Indian child is expected to be like.

Today I'm presenting you my side of the story. I have always been the first bencher. The calm, intelligent and all-rounder kid. I was extremely good at academics back in school. I was good at sports. I was good at cultural activities. I was good at art. Unbelievable, right? That's why I have stated hypothetical figure :) 

 

I used to be first in everything, right from exams to a running race! But my story doesn't end here rather it begins from here.The struggle of ALWAYS being the best.

 I remember an incident when I secured fifth position in a competition. I was shattered, I hated myself. Soon, I realized being fifth was like a dream come true for many. But no I'm Sharmaji's son, I'm perfect, and what about the people who considered me as the winner before the results were out. "Who made a mistake, me or they?", I thought to myself.

In the challenges thrown by life, don't I have a right to fail at least once? This has been my biggest dilemma.

When others grow from 'worst to bad' they are praised. But if I fall from 'best to better' it is a nightmare for me and a topic of discussion for others. 

People strive to achieve it, but I strive to MAINTAIN it. (Sharmaji ka ladka hi fail hogya toh usse kisse compare karenge..)

Nowadays, I find that my aspiration to be someone are projected against your aspiration to be someone else.(Isliye itni gaaliya padti hai shayad mujhe! :()                      

    

You should have expectations from yourself. But never let this spark burn you! It is a true saying that "Aim for the stars, if you fail, you'll land on the moon."

I would like to add something to it; we can all aim for the stars, if we fail, we'll land on the moon, if we fail to land on the moon, we'll land on Mount Everest, if we fail to land on Mount Everest, we'll land on a Skyscraper and if we miss the Skyscraper, we'll end up landing on the Roof-top of our House. Then, we'll get down and start all over again until we land on the stars.

I would say that, 'All of us are Sharmaji ka ladka for someone else in some or the other field.'

 

We are compared to somebody for something, somebody else is compared with us for something else. This cycle continues.And lastly,it is fine if we lose sometimes in our respective fields of excellence.

 

 

Inferiority Complex

 I don't think I'm worthy enough..! Nobody loves me..He is so lucky and look at me..She is such a successful person and on the other hand is me.I wish even I would.....(whatever comes to your mind):(

 Once water and juice were kept side by side. Water thought to itself, "Juice has got such a lovely colour and taste. And here I am completely tasteless and colourless. May be that's the reason people serve their guests juice. I'm not desirable enough."                                                                               

The guests arrived and were served with some juice. They humbly refused and asked for a glass of water as they were very thirsty. (Juice konsa bhi ho….pyass toh panni se hi bhujhti hai).

The phase of mind 'water' was in is inferiority complex. The dubiety of belongingness, acceptance, admiration and self-worthiness is root of inferiority.

As a child we are always special and beautiful for our parents. But as we grow, we face the world. We step out of the shell of our parents' warmth. People around us unwillingly or at times willing make us feel inferior. Many a time when people pass a negative remark about us that makes us feel low, we keep quiet. Gradually, we start accepting those remarks, we try to convince our mind that we are so and then blame ourselves why are we so? Funny, isn't it?

        

Also, if people who were once below us in some or other hierarchy in life, but now stand above us, we have to accept it and not be conscious facing them.

Today, we feel inferior about our relationship status on watching the perfect social media posts or pictures regarding relationship. We question our professional life when we find out our acquaintance has got the job we had always dreamed of. We feel inferior about our looks, physique, personality. Slowly, a little part of our mind sink in the darkness of hopelessness. 

To overcome this darkness, we have to be patient and most importantly believe ourselves (if we don't believe ourselves why will others!). If we are not happy with our better side, no one else will observe it.  

Being patient doesn’t mean, wait for right things to happen. Make right things happen or make whatever happens, right for yourself.(Kyoni zindagi chalti nahi hai, chalani padti hai dost!:))

Gender__ You Wonder?

Being a girl isn't a crime for which a soul is trashed in the womb itself. Being a boy doesn't mean one's soulfulness is buried. Also, being from LGBT community doesn't mean one's identity is faded into obscurity.A mental trauma is faced by everyone in various layers as they are put into a pigeon-hole on basis of their gender.

        

It is a painful truth that harassment, blackmailing, physical abuse is experienced by many, irrespective of their genders. Unfortunately, in this case the number of females is more.

The stereotypes like men don't cry, women are weak; are breaking. Rejections, tough phases and uninvited difficulties in life hamper every human being equally. All of us have the right to cry and express our emotions.

 In fact, suppressing our emotions lead to depression and even physical illness. Intelligence, emotions, abilities and thoughts are independent of gender.

We are overcoming a stereotype but at same time, we continue with the another one. :(

How can one person’s sexual orientation be an abuse for another person?

Many of the transgenders face the distress called gender dysphoria. According to American Psychiatric Association, gender dysphoria may lead to anxiety, depression and even to the extent of self-harm. Are we so cruel that such a distress is equivalent to an "abuse" for us?

The answer is probably NO! We just ignore the gravity and that's what makes us naive.

If we introspect for a while... we ourselves and even the people surrounding us can empathize as humanity is still left among all of us. We can definitely bring Gender Equality if we treat EVERYONE with dignity and empathy. :)

It is a fact that all genders are not equal on biological grounds. But the biological differences can't be a reason for a human's superiority or inferiority!

A Student

Hello, readers! Hope you all are doing well if not I believe YOU shall! :)

We have been in lockdown for almost 3 months. Battling with the situation and its circumstances especially mentally we have come a long way. The Covid-19 pandemic has caused a lot of hullabaloo in every student's life. As a student one had to face a 'set of problems' which was completely out of the syllabus!But students never leave their answer sheet blank (we believe attempt kiya toh marks milte..)

When we read the word 'student'… classrooms, books, exams, results spring up in our heads. A student's life indeed evolves around these factors practically. The 2020 pandemic blasted this bubble. Classrooms are shut, books aren't just a resource to clear class-tests, exams and results have lost their hype. The students have got an opportunity to have a limitless leeway. As per a saying, “The best comes out in the worst”. 

Many of the students embarked up their own start-ups and started earning money from it too. Yes! earning money in this dramatic situation. After spending hours and days, surfing through the internet some accomplished the courses or techniques with the solely purpose of acquiring those skills (na ke marks ke liye..). Hence, implemented those too. Some cherished their knacks. Some made projects to 'actually' solve a problem. Some filled the empty canvasses. Some even wrote books. With no peer pressure to prove something, be someone; a student is being just himself or herself during this period. This immense potential and free-spirited attitude was rare before the lockdown. It was a hostage to expectations, judgments and sustainability.

 A thought was kept as a possession in the closet of our mind. It was checked daily but was never taken out in a carefree manner. This pandemic it was taken out and got a chance to be executed. If not executed yet hope it shall be soon. :)

The society hasn't found a criterion other than exams and its results to grade a student as above average, average and below average. This might be one of the reasons that the question if not exams then what, is perturbing many. But a student's abilities are often beyond these norms. As a student take time, accept whatever you are. And finally, trust your instincts which were may be overlapped by the 'deadlines', because this seems to be a win-learn situation.